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explanations from famous people

My philosophy of life All about me Why I'm so great
OK, OK, sometimes I'm not too bright Let me make one thing perfectly clear My philosophy on success
What I think about sex My thoughts on drugs & alcohol My thoughts on people
My thoughts on men and women What I want out of life Let me explain some of life's little mysteries


My philosophy of life

Between two evils, I always choose the one I never tried before.
- - Mae West

I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.
- - Eva Gabor

I wanted to perform, I wanted to write songs, and I wanted to get lots of chicks.
- - James Taylor, when asked why he got into music.

All about me

Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.
- - Ava Gardner

God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants.
- - Jonathan Winters

I'm still the little southern girl from the wrong side of the tracks who really didn't feel like she belonged.
- -Faye Dunaway

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I love karate, it's like a bible to me. But deep inside I'm so I mean, I'm so sensitive.
- - Jean-Claude Van Damme, Aug. 23, 1991

I am just too much.
- - Bette Davis

I am the Fred Astaire of karate.
- -Jean-Claude Van Damme

I must be the luckiest man in the world. Not only am I bisexual, I am also Welsh.
- - John Osborne

I feel that there is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking.
- - Jean Cocteau

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
- - Muhammad Ali

I never set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important. Like a league game or something.
- - Dick Butkus

I'm just an old maid with an attraction to men.
- - Janet Reno

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.
- - Jessica Rabbit "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"

There's something about me that makes a lot of people want to throw up.
- - Pat Boone

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.
- - Oscar Levant

I'm not confused, I'm just well mixed.
- - Robert Frost

Why I'm so great

I admit I do have a very nice butt. Some say my career was built on it!
- - Jean-Claude Van Damme

I've got a talent to act. No matter what any newspaper says about me, I am one of the most sensitive human beings on earth, and I know it.
- - Jean-Claude van Damme, 1993

I may not be a great actress but I've become the greatest at screen orgasms. Ten seconds of heavy breathing, roll your head from side to side, simulate a slight asthma attack and die a little.
- - -Candice Bergen, 1984

I do not impersonate women. How many women do you know who march around in 7-inch heels, 3-foot wigs and skin-tight outfits? Women don't wear that, drag queens wear that! The public persona of RuPaul is just a fabulous, eye-popping celebrity package designed to work well in front of the camera.
- - RuPaul

I'm the Connie Francis of rock 'n' roll.
- - Elton John

I mean, it's unheard of for somebody to hit 70 home runs, so I'm like in awe of myself right now.
--St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire after finishing the baseball season with a two-homer day, giving him a record 70 for the year. Sept. 27, 1998.

Filipinos want beauty. I have to look beautiful so that the poor Filipinos will have a star to look at from their slums.
- - Imelda Marcos

I say I'm Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin all wrapped up into one. If I die early ... I'll be just like those guys.
- - Dennis Rodman, 1997

I'm not an egomaniac like a lot of people say. But I am the world's best dancer, that's for sure.
- - Michael Flatley

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.
- - David Lee Roth

I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man.
- - Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
- - Linda Evangelista, 1997

People think modeling's mindless, that you just stand there and pose, but it doesn't have to be that way. I like to have a lot of input, I know how to wear a dress, whether it should be shot with me standing up or sitting down. And I'm not scared to say what I think.
- - Linda Evangelista

I've been through it all, baby. I'm Mother Courage.
- - Elizabeth Taylor

If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect.
- - Ted Turner

OK, OK, sometimes I'm not too bright

Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life.
- - Orrin Hatch (US Senator from Utah) explaining his support of the death penalty, May 16, 1988

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
- - Marshall McLuhan

I never know how much of what I say is true.
- - Bette Midler

I have nothing intelligent to say.
- - Meg Tilly, when approached by a TV reporter asking questions on her way into the 1997 Oscar ceremonies.

I am not denying anything I did not say.
- - -Brian Mulrooney

I really didn't say everything I said.
- - Yogi Berra

I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.
- - Ronald Reagan, October 20, 1965

I'm a meathead. I can't help it, man. You've got smart people and you've got dumb people.
- - Keanu Reeves

I think I may boast myself to be, with all possible vanity, the most unlearned and uninformed female who ever dared to be an authoress.
- - -Jane Austen

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave.
- - -Burt Reynolds

I'm no actor, and I have sixty-four pictures to prove it.
- - -Victor Mature

There are two reasons why I'm in show business, and I'm standing on both of them.
- - -Betty Grable

Of all the things I've ever lost I miss my mind the most.
- - Steven Tyler

Let me make one thing perfectly clear

I am not a crook.
- - Richard Nixon

I'm not smart enough to lie.
- - Ronald Reagan

I am not a lesbian and I am not a slut, and somehow I am going to make people believe me.
- - Vanessa Williams

I am not in the closet. I am not coming out of the closet. I am not gay.
- - Oprah Winfrey

I believe I'm a better authority than anybody else in America on my own wife. I have never known a person with a stronger sense of right and wrong in my life- ever.
- - Bill Clinton

I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
- - David Dinkins

I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference.
- - Jack Kerouac

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
- - Katherine Hepburn

I do not like broccoli and I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. Now I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
--George Bush

I'm the type of guy who'd sell you a rat's asshole for a wedding ring.
- - -Tom Waits

I've made an ass of myself so many times I often wonder if I am one.
- - -Norman Mailer

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.
- - -Oscar Levant

Success didn't spoil me; I've always been insufferable.
- - -Fran Lebowitz

When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it. I didn't inhale.
--Candidate Bill Clinton (The New York Times, 3/30/92)

My philosophy on success

I don't meet competition. I crush it.
- - Charles Revson

I'm not the type to get ulcers. I give them.
- - -Ed Koch

I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an actor.
- - Jack Nicholson, 1993

I always figured the American public wanted a solemn ass for president, so I went along with them.
- - -Calvin Coolidge

I don't read books, I write them.
- - Henry Kissinger

I'm not the type to get ulcers. I give them.
- - Ed Koch

When I sing, people shut up.
- - -Barbra Streisand

If people screw me, I screw back in spades.
- - Donald Trump

You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact. And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- - -John Lennon

What I think about sex

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.
- - -Tallulah Bankhead (1972)

I've been taught ever since I was a kid that sex is filthy and forbidden, and that's the way I think it should be. The filthier and more forbidden it is, the more exciting it is.
- - -Mel Brooks, filmmaker

There's nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.
- - -George Burns

I have to physically attracted to someone. But I can't just be with someone just because it's great sex. Because orgasms don't last long enough.
- - Courteney Cox

Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place.
- - Billy Crystal

I should never have married, but I didn't want to live without a man. Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
- - Bette Davis

Personally I know nothing about sex because I've always been married.
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor

If I were asked for a one line answer to the question "What makes a woman good in bed?" I would say, "A man who is good in bed."
- - Bob Guccione (1978)

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.
- - -Billy Joel

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.
- - -Garrison Keillor

Sex appeal is 50 per cent what you've got and 50 per cent what people think you've got.
- - Sophia Loren

Everyone probably thinks that I'm a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite, when the truth is I'd rather read a book.
- - -Madonna (1991)

There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.
- - -Norman Mailer (1992)

Pursuit and seduction are the essence of sexuality. It's part of the sizzle.
- - Camille Paglia

My thoughts on drugs & alcohol

Cocaine habit forming? Of course not, I ought to know. I've been using it for years.
- - Tallulah Bankhead

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
- - W. C Fields

When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two, I didn't like it, I didn't inhale it, and never tried it again.
- - William Jefferson Clinton

The only thing I thought might ever kill me off was clean living. I thought, "How am I going to listen to that horrible noise I make without a gram of coke and a couple of double Jack Daniels?"
- - Iggy Pop

You know, it's cigarettes that killed (Jerry) Garcia. Everyone thinks it's heroin, but it wasn't. It was cigarettes.
- - John Mellencamp, 1996

My thoughts on people

I like children. If they're properly cooked.
- - W. C. Fields

I like dogs better [than people]. They give you unconditional love. They either lick your face or bite you, but you always know where they're coming from. With people, you never know which ones will bite. The difference between dogs and men is that you know where dogs sleep at night.
- - Greg Louganis

I love people. And when you love people that much that you're disappointed in them every day, that love can turn to hate in a flash of a second.
--Johny Depp

I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket.
- - Lyndon B. Johnson

I love New York City; I've got a gun.
- - Charles Barkley

My thoughts on men and women

Feminism is just a way for ugly women to get into the mainstream of America.
- - Rush Limbaugh

The movie business divides women into ice queens and sluts, and there have been times I wanted to be a slut more than anything.
- - Sigourney Weaver

My notion of a wife at 40 is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two 20s.
- - Warren Beatty, 1997

I don't think I was constructed to be monogamous. I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed into as many females as possible.
- - -Marlon Brando (1994)

God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
- - Robin Williams

I dress for women, and undress for men.
- - Angie Dickinson

I like men to behave like men - strong and childish.
- - Françoise Sagan

I love the way men smell. I love the way they taste, their texture, the way they're built.
- - Marilu Henner

I love the male body, it's better designed than the male mind.
- - -Andrea Newman

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported.
- - Mae West

Effeminate men intrigue me more than anything in the world. I see them as my alter egos. I feel very drawn to them. I think like a guy, but I'm feminine. So I relate to feminine men.
- - -Madonna, 1991

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
- - Dorothy Parker

I owe everything - my success and happiness - to men.
- - Dinah Shore

I should think that being my old lady would be all the satisfaction or career any woman needs.
- - Mick Jagger

What I want out of life

If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him.
- - Drew Barrymore (1998)

When I walk into a bookstore, I want to see my picture on the cover of every magazine, like Leonardo DiCaprio.
- - Brandy

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet.
- - George Foreman

I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I want real loyalty. I want someone who will kiss my ass in Macy's window, and say it smells like roses.
- - Lyndon Johnson

Let me explain some of life's little mysteries

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.
--Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stone, December 2, 1976.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
- - Carole Burnett

With all due respect to the world's great drummers - it ain't brain surgery.
- - Mickey Dolenz, 1996

Our bodies are just temporary vessels for our souls, which will go on forever. You really are an extension of the power that created the whole universe, no matter what drags you have on.
- - Ru Paul

If I hadn't been a woman, I'd have been a drag queen.
- - Dolly Parton

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
- - -Zsa Zsa Gabor

You have to remember, Frank Sinatra is 82 years old, which is 240 in your years. He's lived three lifetimes! He has good and bad days. He can't run ... around as fast as he used to.
- - -Tom Dreesen


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