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humor collection about aging, age, getting older
The Senility Prayer
||God, grant me the Senility to forget the
people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
- My wild oats have turned into prunes and all bran.
- I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
- Funny, I don't remember being absent minded....
- All reports are in; Life is now officially unfair.
- If all is not lost, where is it.
- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
- Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
- I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
- Accidents in the back seat cause...kids.
- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
- Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're
in the bathroom.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put then on
- It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
- These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I
go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.