1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, they cancel each other out.
3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both
eat the same amount.
4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes
any chocolate used for energy, Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten whole),
and Haagen-Dazs ice cream.
5. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because
they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of
one's personal fuel. This includes (but is not limited to) Milk
Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.
6. Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage
causes calorie leakage.
7. If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.
8. If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get
9. Food eaten at Christmas parties has 0 calories, courtesy of Santa.
10. STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.