www.corsinet.com - Brain Candy
  Brain Candy Jokes & Humor Collection
corsinet sites

Brain Candy
Chicago
Design Web
Garden
Trivia
TC

our bookshelf
Great Links

The Pet Blog


sponsor ad
Highest quality pet supplies at wholesale prices:
i-pets.com

Search Now:
amazon

Did you enjoy corsinet.com?
paypal

eXTReMe Tracker

Humor about work, jobs, hobbies and occupations

Phone Menu at the Mental Health Institute

 

Hello, and thank you for calling the Mental Health Institute

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly

If you have multiple personalities, press 2, 3 and 4.

If you suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, press 5 but do it v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y and carefully.

If you are dyslexic, press 6. Now press 9. Now press 6. Now press 9. Now press 6.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short term memory loss, press 8.

If you have schizophrenia, listen very carefully and a small voice will tell you the number to press.

If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press a number for you.

If you are depressed, don't bother to press any numbers. No one will be able to help you anyway.

If you are paranoid, you don't need to press anything. We know who you are, we know what you want, and we know how to reach you.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, please hang up because all our operators are too busy to talk to you.


<---- Return to Humor Topics

 

our sponsors
i-pets.com
funny pets
pet factory
dog-bones.com


mind games
rhyming riddle
short riddles
good questions

word play
ad slogans
mom-isms
redundancies
occupations
stupid questions
celebrity insults
insult men
insult women
witty quips
insults
full deck-isms
insulting insults

jokes & humor
animal humor
short jokes
blonde jokes
lawyer jokes
men jokes
funny humor bits
celebrity quotes
advising
complaining
explaining
dying words
gravestones
quotations
great writing
proverbs
topical quotes
poetry & song lyrics
poetry pieces
song lyrics
mondegreens
holidays
april fools
christmas
halloween
mother's day
thanksgiving
valentine's day

email
corsinet at gmail.com

recommended:
encyclopedia of stupidity
The Encyclopedia of Stupidity

hey, idiot!
Hey, Idiot! : Chronicles of Human Stupidity

are you normal?
Are You Normal? : Do You Behave Like Everyone Else?

i'm not suffering from insanity
I'm Not Suffering from Insanity...I'm Enjoying Every Minute of It!

Brain Candy Chicago DesignWeb Garden Trivia TC