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Humor about religion

Short Jokes About the Bible and Religion

 

Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.

Q. How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?
A. Because in Job 16:12 we read, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me."

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
A. They really raised Cain.

Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise?
A. Turn right and go straight.

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments; at once.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. Who was the greatest financieer in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.

Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A: A roamin' Catholic!

Q: When was the longest day in the Bible?
A: The day Adam was created because there was no Eve.

Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: He didn't want any advice.

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

Q: Why didn't Noah go fishing?
A: He only had two worms!

Q: Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?
A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!


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