halloween collection
October 31

What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
Mas-scare-a.

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos.

What kind of music do ghosts listen to?
Sheet music.

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A boo-tie.

What type of music do ghosts prefer?
Spirituals, of course.

What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer.

What's a ghost's favorite breakfast?
Ghost toasties with booberries.

What's a ghost's favorite desert?
Boo-berry pie.

What's a ghoul's favorite game?
Hide-And-Go-Shriek!

What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.

What's big and gray and wears a mask at the theater?
The Elephantom of the Opera

What's big and green and goes "Oink, Oink?"
Frankenswine.

What's Dracula's favorite flavor of ice cream?
Vein-illa.

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.

What's the best way to catch an ear of corn?
Use a cobweb.

When do ghosts usually appear?
Just before someone screams.

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.

Where do ghosts mail their letters?
At the ghost office

Where do most werewolves live?
In Howllywood, California.

Where do you take a ghost who's backed into a lawn mower?
To a liquor store. That's where they retail spirits.

Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo.

Where does a one-armed man shop?
At a second hand store.

Where does Dracula usually eat his lunch?
At the casketeria.

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building.

Which songs does Dracula hate?
"You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders."

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.

Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Napoleon bone-apart.

Who was the most famous ghost detective?
Sherlock Moans.

Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.

Who was the most famous witch detective?
Warlock Holmes.

Why are so few ghosts arrested?
It's hard to pin anything on them.

Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin.

Why did the cannibal rush over to the cafeteria?
He heard children were half price.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting license.

Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to "THE OTHER SIDE"

Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the boos.

Why did the ghost starch her sheet?
She wanted everyone to be scared stiff.

Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?
To see if she was his type.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He had no guts.

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with.

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.

Why do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping things under wraps.

Why do witches fly on brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

Why do you always see ghosts & demons together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.

Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
He has a bat temper.

Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle!

Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!

Why were there screams coming from the kitchen ?
The cook was beating the eggs.

MORE HALLOWEEN JOKES (part one)